Welch’s Thinks You’re an Idiot
Companies normally sell products comprised mostly of marketing, an imagined quality brought on by clever packaging work. If you’re savvy, it’s not hard to spot these things. I’m not sure when they started selling it, but I noticed a Welch’s product at the store yesterday which should insult the intelligence of even the average consumer. (A tall order.)
That’s right! AQUA JUICE! So your kids love juice. Love it! The little fuckers are sucking it down so fast their teeth may decay to tiny dust storms before you even realize it. What’s a mom (dad) to do!? Well. Aqua Juice! It has less sugar. Why does it have less sugar? Because Welch’s added water to it, saving you the time and trouble of watering down your own juice! God bless their cheeky little hearts.
Reminds me that I should get going on my “yolkless eggs” product. You see the yolks have all the cholesterol. If you take them out, the egg is pretty healthy. I could take the yolks out and sell the eggs for 4x the price! Oh wait. Someone’s been doing that for years. Damn!
7th Planet Coming in Oct.
First night Oct. 25th. Additional details forthcoming…
PDX Media Round-up! Popples! Vaginas!
Our Popples Must Be Local and Sustainable – Sam Adams appeared today on KBOO show Locus Focus to talk about issues of local, sustainable food production. However, because we’re 12, we thought the most important part of the entire program happened when he made a flub and said, “Popples.” when attempting to say that “things’ll be popping up.” (He was talking about local farms, you perv.)
Does the Mayor of Portland have a secret thing for 80’s plush toys that can hide in their back-mounted pouches?
local, sustainable food that Mayor Sam Adams has no interest in
Melissa Lion Wants Your Vagina To Smell Good – Also talking about local and sustainable food today is Melissa Lion. It’s right here on Recovering Californian! You’d better get those vaginas all smelling nice before you head out to BackFencePDX this Wednesday. If you’re wearing nylon panties, she can smell you from a mile away.
I’ve got a much shorter version of this hygienic primer for males. I call it, Wash Yo’ Dick and the entire content of the guide is right there in the title.
PARKing Day 2009!
Today is PARKing Day when people all over the country plunk some change into parking meters for anything other than cars. They turn the spaces into art galleries, public parks, activism centers, and even new branch offices.
Matt Davis and I are pictured here in the Mercury PARKing Day branch office in front of Portland City Hall. There was even some nice shade over some of the area.
Photo taken by Ali Rheingold.
Ahhh. A Little Free Time
Now that I’m not filling in 3 to 4 nights a week for other people, in addition to my own 2 nights, I’ve got some more free time, time to cook and fool around with silly things like all the acrylic paint I’ve accumulated. Right now I’m in my “room” listening to flamenco music and working on a painting that I started a year ago, but have barely touched. Don’t laugh!
It’s based on the Great Horned Owl and the paint for the eyes is glow in th- HEY. I said DON’T LAUGH! It won’t necessarily look like an owl, when it’s done, but it will be an owl-like creature… thing? Anyway. I’m having fun. Good enough for me!
Chicken Splint 4 EVAH, Ya’ll
I just got home from a couple hours of good, healthy American bowling with the Merc staff. I learned a few things today. Well, mainly I learned I still suck at bowling. I managed a 104, the exact same score as Matt Davis who was on the same team as I, Chicken Splint! Also on the great Chicken Splint team were Steven Humphrey, Alison Hallett, and two other people whose names I don’t know. (Sorry! Frowny face!)
by ginnerobot on flickr
Chicken Splint technically did not win, but it will always be the greatest bowling team, complete with a secret, ever-changing awkward high-five/fist bump hybrid.
It was a good time, but a little bitter-sweet. Tomorrow is my last day at the Merc. I had a fantastic time during this summer internship and I’m gonna miss working there. But I think I can chalk it up as a success, seeing as I learned quite a bit and got some neat little clips for myself.
I will have a little more time to work on my next project, I think. Make sure you have those calendars cleared out on Oct. 25th for 7th Planet Picture Show at the Mt. Tabor Theatre. More details forthcoming.
Oh and congratulations to sly Sarah Mirk and her team 3 Men and a Baby, comprised of 6 people, none of them men or babies, who scored the highest, beating out the team with Erik Henriksen and Patrick Alan Coleman by a scant ONE POINT!
Killing In A Gay Bar
I usually don’t like mashups. I find them a little too dense. (as implied by the name of the genre itself) I’m making an exception for this one. Killing In A Gay Bar, by English Pete is a cute mashup of two great songs that made me EL OH EL.
Is it homophobic? Eh. I don’t think so. The original Gay Bar song talks about starting a nuclear war in a gay bar and no one seems to mind that one. I think it refers more to blowing everyone’s mind with your fabulous dance moves!
[via Hipster Please Episode 73: Eat, Drink, and Be Scary]
Gay German Star Trek
I knew there was a reason I toiled to learn how to speak German back in college. Now I can actually watch this film. As I found out yesterday, the Germans made a sort of gay parody of Star Trek with elements from other films thrown in. It came out in 2004. Why haven’t I heard of this until now!? TRAAAAGEDY! Well. At least I finally know it exists, and I’m downloading it as I write this. Oh yes I am.
Oh No He Di’n't!
Did you read the story about Obama calling Kanye a jack ass in front of the media, “off the record.” Well, looks like it got “leaked”, with video! Hey. Obama is right again. Cut the president some slack!
