Dogs: Don’t Know
image from KATU.com used in accordance with Federal Copyright "Fair Use" Doctrine for commentary purposes.
I found this image today on KATU.com accompanying a post about a cat that apparently caught the swine flu here in Oregon. Never mind the sensationalism and fearmongering of relating peoples’ personal pets to one obviously bizarre and isolated case of a cat catching H1N1, I think it’s hilarious that they point out that your pet pigs can catch swine flu.
I’m going to let my new friend Crazy Teenage Girl address this one:
Duuuuh!
"Crazy Girl" photo by D Sharon Pruitt
Amy Troy Whut?
Congratulations to KGW’s Amy Troy who won an eating contest today to benefit the arts and athletic education. [ Oregon Media Central ]
I clicked on Amy’s bio link to learn more about her. Due to some kind of formatting mistake, I was greeted by something similar to the phrase Vonnegut uses to describe the American National Anthem, “gibberish sprinkled with question marks.” Anyone else get that?
(Breakfast of Champions. Multnomah Co. Library offers a downloadable audio version you can “check out”.)
Congratulations, Amy!
Silly People
Pictured here in the cavelike lounge area of the Portland Mercury editorial offices are me, in my intern uniform, and news editor Matt Davis.
Baby Goat!
It’s snowing outside! This goat is the color of snow! Therefore this post is pertinent and up to the times. Don’t burn your hands on this hot news item!
P.S. Portland is officially shut down for today and tomorrow. Have a nice day!
Hose Me Down with Fox Urine
I would like to thank the town of Willmar, Minnesota, for bringing me the weirdest news story I’ve read all week. Scott Edward Wagar apparently got so sick of pranksters messing around on his land that he squirted several young people with a supersoaker, filled with FOX URINE, as they attempted to teepee his property. And, because of this, he faces fifth degree charges of assault and disorderly conduct.
Should the guy be brought up on criminal charges for this? It was his property. There are a lot of nuts out there who would have used a real gun. It sounds like he’s just a real hard-boiled asshole who must have pissed off everyone in that town so much they’re out to fuck him over any way they can, including the authorities. And what a town it is.
The local news site carrying the story was running this ad inside it. I love the part at the bottom, “NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ACCIDENTS. ALL FEDERAL, STATE, AND LOCAL LAWS MUST BE OBEYED.”
It’s also interesting to me is that this guy had fox urine. After a little googling, I discovered that it’s used in hunting to somehow deceive creatures of the wild. How about that.
It’s too bad this guy didn’t have an Ooze Blastin’ OOZINATOR!
Story is at Willmar’s West Central Tribune Online.
Update: You can buy Fox Urine at Amazon.com. Amazon.com, for all your fox urine needs!
News of the Obvious
Weird! Riveting!
Large groups were also seen eating processed meat products and lounging around out of doors.
Cats on Fire
Going out on a limb at the risk of making my blog too intellectual, but here goes! Recently, Scott Beale posted a blog about kittens on treadmills. Logically, since I have the mind of an adolescent boy, it occurred to me to search “cat on fire.” in YouTube.
Found only one incident, and the video is of a news report, not the actual burning cat, which caused me to experience disappointment and relief simultaneously.
Couldn’t someone have at least lit a fake cat on fire, thrown it across the room, and dubbed it over with a hearty, “ROOOWWR?”
Maybe I’ve got a project here.
Hmm.
